Sunday, July 1, 2012

Film Cemetery 

Case Study #5

Where we explore the more 
obscure movies that bombed

Six Days, Seven Nights

Come on, admit it. 

Didn't it bother you a little bit 
that Anne Heche wasn't really 
interested in Harrison Ford's 
gentleman sausage?

First things first. In 1998, Anne Heche was a hot commodity. And you can see why....even today at age 43 she's still totally got it.

People magazine voted her in for Top 50 most beautiful people in the world, and she has a certain screen presence that's undeniable. I liked Heche a lot alongside Tommy Lee Jones in Volcano, although I didn't know much about her.


Then I learned that she was in a relationship with Ellen DeGeneres just before I went to see Six Days, Seven Nights in the theater. 


And the movie isn't's just....pleasant

Look, you just can't escape the fact that Heche really doesn't want Ford's....frank and beans....Sakman and Throbbin' get the idea. I have no problem with Heche and her choice of partners, but it does kinda take the fun out a romantic comedy.

Because, you see, that's the whole point of a romantic comedy - the sexual tension between the characters. 

If it's done right, even guys like me will go see it. If it's not, then you get a movie like Six Days, Seven Nights....which was barely a blip on the radar. And honestly, this film wasted some very talented people.

That wasn't the only problem, though.

On to the movie....

The script was so cookie-cutter it beggars belief. The scenery is spectacular, the actors are appealing...but there isn't a single moment of originality to be found in this movie. 

I guess the writers and producers thought that the stunning Kauai island and Heche without a bra would make moviegoers forget that there's no plot to speak of.


Harrison Ford plays a grouchy local pilot named Quinn Harris. Heche is a journalist named Robin that's on vacation with her fiance, David Schwimmer (this film's true bright spot) in the South Pacific. 

You handsome man, you

She needs a ride to another island to cover a story, and can only get Ford and his rather sweet DeHavilland Beaver float-plane. 

The plane runs into a storm, gets hit by lightning, goes down on a deserted island....and then the love story between Heche and Ford begins. 

And I have no problem with this. Who hasn't had a stranded-on-a-remote-island fantasy?

But then the screenwriters decided that we needed pirates, too.


Come on! We gotta fill in 4 more 
minutes of screen time!

I could have put aside Heche's real-life sexual preferences if we'd been gifted with a love story with some good, snappy dialogue. Instead, we got foot chases, fistfights, rubber-raft chases, and chases and chases.

As Henry Turner, Jack Ryan, Indiana Jones or Han Solo, Harrison Ford is utterly without equal. In a romantic comedy....not so much. But this certainly isn't his fault. The screenwriters clearly wanted a bunch of needless action in Six Days, Seven Nights to fill out the running time.

This film barely made back it's budget, received mixed to negative reviews, and was a surprising disappointment compared to other Ford films. 

Still, it's well worth watching. 

Heche is an engaging, if not romantic, acting partner. Ford wins a girl half his age, and Schwimmer does what he does best, which is to be painfully annoying.

What are Harrison 

Ford's best roles?

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